Poker and The Foodlink Court

The temptation seems to be irresistible now. I just could not hold on to myself, although whats happening may be acting as an eye sore for you, why do they have to do this way? hmm..It pierces in and out, repetitively.

Someone rightly said, they really like you the way you are and want JUST to be like that, but they don't want you, they want someone like you. Now can this height of complexity be explained? Well, the sages of yore were even spared, who I am to question then?

But it hurts, I know what I have been doing may not be morally correct on my part, but today, it was all just so lovable, I wanted it but without making an effort, and that too even if I get it, I would not want it for longer, it just until I get bored or am shouldered with the burden of so called responsibilities. It is mean, very mean, but it has been this way always with me.

Giving it a serious thought, would it be wonderful to get bound to it or I will buckle under the so called stigma in which I have been enveloped always. What say, should I give in?

Conjecture

It was the perfect timing. I wanted to and was trying to recover from my momentary bouts of depression. But suddenly I saw that and it plunged me deep into that. For a moment, it was all still, as if I had been betrayed, but it had to be and this was a no new fact to me. The only difference that I didn't expect this so sooner. Just now finished with the 2 States, The story of my marriage. Well, with me caught in all this, there couldn't be any more apt time for this to start or may be end with. Disgusting man, why do fellas really end up like this, oh its just my hurt fragile ego speaking up. Its the happy ending or may be a bad start for me. Well, good wishes for both of them, but it hurt a bit, and the one regret I will have and now will find its way to be buried inside, since nothing can be done about this. I wish I could speak to her....just once..

Dont want the night to end...

How wonderful is this feeling: you are just lying upside down on your bed just close to your window and you have the sight of whole city in front of you and to add more to it, its mid night, quiet everywhere. Its the 10th floor. You just keep on gazing upon the lights, some blinking, some steady, but beautifully entangled all over. Lost somewhere deep down, you are at peace with yourself.

Sometimes you are not sure what you are thinking about, but you just want to remain there, not to be disturbed by anyone. The moment should never end, as if you are ready to spend your life in that just one moment. Obviously you do miss someone special, and it has to be your current beloved one. Someone rightly said, poetry comes fine spun with mind at peace...

Just like that

In the anticipation, everyday I just open up my mails, my social network updates, a bit of expectation, a bit anxiety, but what turns out - Nothing, except a bit disappointment to which I have become accustomed, but the only thought, till when....?

Nothing except Distress

engulfed....worsened........patience....just smoke everywhere.....hurting....insignificant trivial....things.....pain.... expectations.....tears.....maddening....daylight....

dying....let out of this....nothing endearing....havoc......beg..I please....trouble.....unnamed....

endearing....confusion.....nothing allures.....but.....depression.....a bit love...curse.....incapable...

thrown.....lost....left.....help....flickering.....despair....blood....crying....state of mind....inconsolable....

understand....heart out....me.....no pacifier.....lights.....afraid.....fix....world....scare.....eyes....close....

Sleep, indefatigable sleep....

Twilight....fading away...

Memories culled from the past swaying in my mind, playing havoc with me. I may be regretting a bit today, that I should have spilled all the beans 4 (or a bit more)yrs back, before coming out of that world. Although its a sweet pain, I have been subjected to, but it feels like, I really missed out on that. It could have been much, much beautiful, than it was. I can still smell those times, when it all happened, it was magical. But, I just have a "But" remaining now....its all gone....