HuRt

As you sow, so shall you reap. It all comes back after going round and round mysteriously and it hits you back with a bang. Never would have given it a consideration, it would just create such a deep crater in spite of being non intentional and harmful to anyone else. 

Sole blame or onus of this so called agony completely comes on own, you never wanted it this way, it had to be another way, which seems to be more arduous.

Why the furore now, its just the inability to satisfy your own fragile male ego time again time. 

Very rightly said, I hate what I have become to escape what I hated being. Really need an angel who would fix this all up. 

Desire's would never end...