Now it has, but why..

Its end of August 2011, one year and its the same, as I said:

"Absurd it may get with time,

will be just left by myself,

alone, deserted and wandering in my mind.'

Very True Indeed...

Need a Vent

Jab jab dard ka badal chaya,

jab gum ka saya lehraya,

jab aansu palkon tak aaya,

jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya,

humne dil ko yeh samjhaya,

dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai,

duniya me yu hi hota hai,

yeh jo gehre sannate hai,

waqt ne sabko hi baatte hai,

thoda gum hai sabka qissa,

thodi dhup hai sabka hissa,

aankh teri bekaar hi namm hai,

har pal ek naya mausam hai,

kyun tu aise pal khota hai,

dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai...

25th July 2011

N-c-I-h-D-a-H-v-I-e  conversation..

Suffocating Life

What u did,

was what i hated and disliked the most,

it has penetrated deep inside,

taking a toll.

Its going to be a lot more tougher,

than it was before,

and what I assumed.

Maddening and fearing,

it has become,

each breath is a pain,

love is all transforming into hatred.

26th July 2011

Ye pal jo ye wo haddse hai, 

ya phir likhe yu hi the,

taye hue the pehle hi,

ya phir ye taye nahi the...

AB - Sw-b-heart-day

Shattered and numb..

Pain galore..

Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum,

Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum,
Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho,
Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna seekho,
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein,
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye,
Jo apni aankhon mein hayraniyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum,
Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum.

..ZNMD

JLT

Its only when u lose faith, you do lose the way. 

Its only when “I” comes in the way of your judgement, you do actually fail to judge.

Its the unconditional love, which should prevail.

Love

Love is such a warm emotion,

that it soothes every single piece of you,

however torn you may be,

however lost you may be,

it will just come and lull you into calmness, making you at very ease.

Just like that

It was just a first attempt,

in the flow of love,

with that pure care and concern,

to make you free of all disturbance.

Contradictory it went,

I dont know where I went wrong,

but it was all just done with a pure heart,

and a godly intention.

You misunderstood,

created pain for yourself,

and hence me too,

for, it all went awry.

This confusion,

paved the way for disappointment,

for what I wanted to convey,

couldn't be and what you got,

it actually shouldn't be.

Please dont make it difficult,

for both of us,

mine's is just an hearty attempt,

to save you out from all this mess.

Valentine's Day

Let Love be the guide to your dreams,

let Love be the light to your heart,

let your Love be the reason why somebody's else's heart still

continues to beat..

Albatross

I am afraid,

of these moments,

when you have those,

sporadic outburst of,

such piercing words,

coming out unintentionally.

I know you never wanted it to be,

but these just popped up,

stabbing me like a thousand knives.

There's no cure to it,

except just to accept it.

would we have to carry this burden,

silently, all along our whole life.

Will we ever get freedom from this,

will there be a day detached from this,

its an albatross around the neck,

making us weak day by day,

playing havoc in life.

Cringed

Dreadful it was,

what I dreamed last night,

it was the amalgamation,

of the things which went past,

the whole day.

Taken away you were,

for I couldn't just do anything,

I was a dead soul,

leaving it all to destiny.

The pain was excruciating,

flooding my lachrymal lake.

You could see it,

but somehow it wasn't empathized.

How could he enter,

when I presumed,

the doors were not open.

Both of you left,

frightening and leaving me,

with nothingness in my hands.

I am scared to death,

its all dark everywhere,

both outside and deep inside me.

Would it just end like this someday,

before it could really start.

This has been giving me attacks,

with my each single breath.

Would you really leave me,

would I be able to cope up,

only you can make me feel at ease,

otherwise it will keep on haunting and I will be lost.

Disheartening

Unwelcome I was,

for, as this was the realization,

which dawned upon me.

Discomforting it was,

as it made all the feel disappear.

I was made to leave,

was it the fear,

or was it the sleep?

???

How do I make her live, when even I dont wish to live?

Yeh pal

Kyun gire hai tut ke,

jab jure hum kabhi bhi nahi the...

Insanity galore

Hit, 

pricking like hell,

when you are supposed to,

do otherwise and alleviate pain,

rather than your own self.

Trying to stitch,

that tattered soul,

if somehow,

could bring it back to,

near about normal.

Of all the things happening,

with pure intention here,

could have been mistaken,

it was rightly needed, a full stop,

to prevent it from penetrating into the veins.

Absolutely no fucking freaking reason,

to elaborate this spasm of sulking,

disgruntled emotions.

Was it a text killer,

or it needs a response.

Left in the middle of nowhere,

how do I gulp this poison,

no fucking option at all,

can just yell, yell and only yell,

in my traumatized mind.

How to take care of these two,

that torn soul,

and this insanity filled mind,

when both are just needed for each other,

together always at the right time.

Traumatised

Trauma, is taking the toll,

for its not physical,

its making the mind weak,

deteriorating everything,

inch by inch.

Eyes wide open,

lost in scary darkness,

totally unaware of life,

making it all a living hell.

Afflicted with misery,

feeling worthless,

seems like the end of all,

considers herself a shattered lost soul.

Hope that sun will shine someday,

bringing an end to this burning agony,

or no stone would be left unturned,

until its all hunky dory.

A load

Just waiting for the Tide to go off...