Salvaged

Seems true indeed,

when you really need sumone desperately,

it would seem no one would have a minute to spend,

but when you want it all alone,

it would seem like whole world is conspiring in thronging you.

What you need badly would not come to you,

but when you are away from it,

it will just pop up in front,

even in your thoughts.

Totally unexpected, 

it popped up like a Saviour for me.

Of all the things happening since last few days,

that was one thing very much needed in time.

It took me by surprise, 

leasing me few more breaths to survive.

Emotions needed a vent, 

to let go of their suppression.  

Was it elation or was it relief, 

which made its way through the organ of sight.

Petrified I was, 

for I had no control over my own heart.  

The moment was frozen in time, 

the eyes melted only to make me realize, 

for it wasn't a dream.

Nothing was obviously there, 

so it made me ponder,  

how long it’s going to last, so that I know,

when I am going to need another set of ventilators. 

P-let-V-go-D

I cant get it out of me, 

It's breathing Inside of me

It's reaching inside of you

You're feeling affected

You're being infected

It's just like a cold

A kiss on your lips

Now you're taking control

I feel like a criminal

I'm falling apart

We're leaving for Venus

In a getaway car

there's no one can save us

There's no need to try

I'm looking for saviors before they all die

If you wanna try and save me

Then take my heart don't hate me

If you feel you can let go, let go

Vibrations in cells

Persistent loss of interest in any thing,

Just dying inside to see that name,

the desperation is getting high,

I know will break down if tested more,

but that wouldn't be good at all for sure.

No idea if this is being done deliberately,

but surely its affecting me softly.

The heat beats at a faster pace,

presuming the mention at every tick.

I always repelled it, but somehow,

I fell for it.

Even it would be a no now,

but would love to surrender somehow,

this is just the ego, the selfishness,

for have not given a damn to her madness.

It should be penalized,

for I should deserve this sacrifice,

rightly going it is then,

parting both of us,

at fate's behest.

m.O.is.B.ta.Y.ke

Dont speak to me this way,

dont ever let me say,

dont leave me again,

dont leave me again,

Oh, you never felt this lost before,

and the world is closing doors,

I never wanted anything more,

Dont hurt me this way,

Dont touch me this way,

Dont hurt me again,

Dont hurt me again,

Oh, you never felt this lost before and the world is closing doors,

I never wanted anything more....

Dont let me make the same mistake again,

please dont let me make the same mistake again..

Pricking

Life has turned full circle, the air now is redolent with the sweet smelling solitary memories of the once cursed past. Inside out....
Everything in retrospect seems to be fine, as it looks now, but the present is still being spoiled. Dark moods often overtaking the mind throwing into the fathomless depth of desolation.
Just one reason, nothing else, could be so devastating. Its just that the essence of unspoken words has not been comprehended mutually. Painful it is, but the charm and sadistic pleasure experienced by self due to the unfulfilled love is unavoidable. It longs for more love, hence accompanied by pain which always comes in handy.
Surely, its making the wants more dearer than the needs. Nothing can be done to console yourself, or at least heart. Very rightly said, nothing is stable in human affairs, so never be so elated in happiness nor grieve much during bad times.

M..R..M

Mystic rose meditation, a therapy by Osho, which asks you to laugh, cry and be silent, each for some duration seems to be soul cleansing activity. Though the first part has been overly abundant with me, I had not the second and third one in proportions. But, after today, they all can be certainly balanced. It was like hell, but it actually cleanses you, not your eyes only, but it purifies the whole you.

It just happened with all those small insignificant things of life which were not going the way I wanted them to be, plus the past accumulated stuff (which was already effervescing), just made its way, bursting itself out. Had the potential to drench me, like I had been in the rain. I could have my lungs out. It was all hazy, the present was just melting in front of myself, had that bump not obstructed my way. 

How does it feel, when after exploring a hell lot of options, you come up with the conclusion that life is not treating you fairly, am sure its disheartening?

Aimless

It really hurts to hurt ...knowingly you have to do it, although it is damn hard to do so, but with great pain you step ahead to trample on your rosy dreams which keeps you alive.

It is really confusing, the consciousness speaks that it aint gonna happen, the mind is opposing the very thought of togetherness, but your subconscious always tries to make it beautiful, showing you the ray of optimism and a blurring belief that yes, you are gonna fall for it.

It tough, very tough...to just tread on it.

Life is full of surprises, it has made me believe that obviously i have been wrong many a times, but anything is possible in spite of your accepting the reality or not.

Had not expected this, i am almost acting as if i am actually encircled into this.

My conscious which was built as per prior experiences, happenings around me really dont want this, although deep down inside there is a longing for this, how do i deny that truly i dont want to deny.

Maybe people are right, one should go through this, this experience in itself is worth it, you would not know when it all happened, and how much you would want it your way, it wont.

Being a self proclaimed stoic would not help, this whole shebang would make you go weak in knees.

How much you try not to make her feel the way she should not about you, there is more love, unbounded by anything, flowing freely in every vein of the body.

Like other’s its going to meet the same fate, just any of the extremes.