Expressive P..a..u..s..e..s

Oh hell, that was right,

what I thought,

was true indeed,

paining it was there,

had I not done the necessary,

it would have become difficult to repair.

Although it brought no fruition,

but if wouldn't have given a shot,

it would have been a curse for myself,

and the other side completely distraught.

First Ride

Got the feelers,

somehow today,

that should have been there,

for it seemed like

a bit of discomfort,

around you.

Remember that look,

which you gave,

before turning away.

Felt like there was pain,

and when I could realize this,

it was a bit late.

Dont know why,

but I haven't still done the correction,

may be am not sure if its real,

or its just figment of my imagination.

Am not feeling good about it either,

just waiting,

if you could make both us feel better.

Expectations would have turned you down,

I would agree,

it would be apt,

anyway you act now.

I wish I could cut these barriers,

and make you at ease,

but, just let it be,

and wait, if we could cross this tumultuous sea.

If at all, its gonna be,

the love would hold no bounds,

for I would know no limits then,

and it would be all just about you.

Killing me softly

You have become,

an addiction for me,

The moment the hang over

seems to be gone,

everything starts pricking me.

It is really intoxicating,

I felt a bit change today,

from this platonic haze,

to that subtle pleasurable cage.

You exposed my underbelly,

poked me and told,

that I am devoured by you.

I really dont remember,

when it all rained,

your love just started,

seeping into my veins.

Got that vicarious kick,

which I had always been averse to,

tell me its not a fallacy,

or if it is, let it be you.

Have started acting morbid at times,

just with the thought,

that I would always be,

just uncaught.

This so-called-your Love,

which you bestow upon me,

has become a daily dose,

giving me few breaths everyday,

so that I can be taken care of.

This is my life

I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming out loud

I'm searching the missing part of my heart

you catch me every time i fall

When i look into your eyes

I just know you tell me lies.

This,this is my life I'm looking for you searching love in your eyes

This, this my life I'm chasing a dream that fades away in the night.

so-called LoVe

It was long back,

although its now over,

have forgotten or had to,

for dont have any option.

Felt like a blow,

sometimes pricking to death,

when you made someone else,

more better than myself.

Would you ever understand,

its not easy to gulp,

am still fighting the war with myself,

to get rid of this confusion,

but you still busy putting,

flames on ignition.

It was like,

bathing in hot molten iron,

slitting all apart,

without any feel,

life to depart.

Why aggravation,

if you cant just soothe,

or render alleviation.

Cant stop you from this,

may be you are right,

will surely endure this,

just be on my side.

But wouldn't it be lovely,

and nice,

if you understood all this,

Dont you feel love,

if yes, then why me to entice.

I just hope everything just goes down with this ending night.

I Understand

Your ego is more stubborn than mine is,

Although you have let go of it a few times,

but seems like a thing of past,

dont know why it sends me to thoughts,

have you changed or am I lost?

Weirdo

It wasn't what I was looking for today,

and neither were you.

The commotion happened,

just like that,

and I was lost,

with nothing in hand.

Could have been much better,

since it was just meant only for you.

Things came untold,

for it was not really my plan.

Had I got more feelers,

would surely have turned into heaven.

Was bound to happen,

with those few hours of waste and confusion.

Want to know what exactly I would want, when I would get what I had been longing for.

Anticipation of a Message

Don't you feel it,

the way I feel.

Reality would always have it different,

but at least, let me live with it in dreams.

Sulking am I, 

in that unconscious world,

when I wake up,

pretense is my sole love.

For this is not affordable for me,

as I cant revolt against myself.

And if its not meant the way, it should,

would have to bear it alone.

Does it really mean nothing to you,

or you don't want to be pampered.

Indulgence would obviously gratify,

either both of us, or 

the whole set of our senses,

cluttered and battered.

 

Afraid

The fear has again cropped up,

am I getting too close,

inconsistent thoughts,

but it also pains, if there is no dose.

Smoky Garage

Staring at those walls,

pondering upon what just went by,

was it expected or not.

Always in the ambiguity,

what's gonna unfold,

amazed at the ways,

how all this has been devised.

Makes you feel good, bad,

and at the end, 

consoling yourself,

since you could not find the way out of it,

it seems, nothing is stable in human affairs.

Everything's composed,

somewhere in the heaven,

how things are and would be,

unable to connect,

in this perplexed living.

Think this way, 

and it turns out different,

just shuttling between,

great expectations and

abject disappointment.

Fickle mindedness,

incurable instability,

elation for a while,

then craziness ahead.

Affectionate love,

distorted dreams,

confusion galore,

assorted with sporadic fear.

Would this all make sense,

hopefully someday when the sky is clear.

Stereo Love

When you're gonna stop breaking my heart

I don't wanna be another one

Paying for the things I never done

Don't let go,

Don't let go

To my love.

Can I get to your soul?

Can you get to my thought?

Can we promise we won't let go?

All the things that I need

All the things that you need

You can make it feel so real.

Scary Intimacy

This fickle mind,

is going to devastate the whole me some day.

The intensity of repulsion, the confrontation,

all escapes just with a simple conversation.

Cursing yourself,

for spilling the beans,

has become a routine.

Is it bad or is it just fine,

am never gonna find.

Its just my alter ego at the play,

if I let go of it, its very much okay.

Its real hard to act as one,

which you are not a part of,

when little tiny expectations become your world,

and they are being trampled upon rudely,

you are bound to retort.

It happened,

in the same way.

Hell broke loose, as always,

for I thought again, its the last time,

Had to accept the hard way,

that it all needs to be gagged,

doesn't matter, if it hurts,

for the pain would be less than what it is now.

Importance, always made to hurt,

is it with all us mortals or is it just her.

Tumultuous it became,

with violent streaks taking shelter.

And then all of sudden,

I was soothed,

my senses calmed,

was made human again.

It felt like ventilators,

in this no oxygen zone.

But why all this discomfort,

just because of her's comfort.

Ironic it is to accept,

but yes, thats the way it is.

Hollowed

Having gone through the lanes of past,

when there was not even an iota of this turbulence,

it feels better to be careless about all this,

without giving it attention.

Selfish on own's part,

but then we are all trying to save our own ass,

if at all its bound to happen,

am sure it will.

There's no need to make a fool of your self,

n getting hurt at the end,

let go of this sand from your fist,

the tighter u try to hold it,

it will just slip away,

just let it be whatever it is.

And at the end,

u can't claim it,

as it was never yours.

Its Affirmative

It wasn't my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Empathized

Now I have realized, it was much better before,

Carefree I was, for I never thought of you,

was unaware of your pain.

And now my mind is cluttered,

every now and then it thinks of you,

making it all uneasy for me.

The tables have turned,

I understood you were in pain,

but now a lot more is at stake.

Hope-less-ness

It is bound to come back,

how much u resist and try,

u cant just escape it,

few hours pass by calmly,

n then the turbulence hits you.

Paining, it is real hard,

for it is not easy to let go,

u have no control over it,

except to suffer defeat.

U think u have conquered it,

but thats the oblivion u r living in.

the moment it sneaks,

u feel tattered.

The heart beats at a faster pace,

but how long it will be in the race.

maddening it has become,

please just stop this chase.

I know this is a hope against hope,

but this is just to avoid this tiring pain.

Feels all alone, just loneliness as an accompaniment,

now i just think of him, as he is the supreme one,

who will take care of my future and present.

Let it be a Lie

Magical it was,

sitting next to her,

feeling the breath,

if asked my last wish on this earth,

would want those moments back,

frozen in time, forever.

On the way back,

stirred she was emotionally,

the stop came, it was time for her to move,

stood off at an increasing distance,

making me used to the absence.

We both knew there was something missing,

there was no courage to ask,

as if she never wanted to leave,

we stood there,

just to deceive.

Trying to elongate our discussions,

if somehow we could take it long enough.

but there were pauses, silent noise,

Those unsaid words.

We knew it,

but couldn't take it out,

both of us.

I took the lead,

said goodbye, leaving her in darkness.

Realized, when back at home,

something was not going right,

that something has been missing badly.

Wish any of us could start,

but I guess both were afraid,

a call was desperately needed,

but I was completely dismayed.

There were glances galore at the phone,

wish I could get a call,

an hour went by, 

but nothing happened at all.

I couldn't bear that loneliness,

it was eating me up,

decided to hit the bed.

Sat and lied calmly,

my eyes beginning to close,

and suddenly I realised,

there was a call, and it was her.

It was such a relief,

experienced never before,

took the call, talks went by,

tucked my boat to the shore.

We wanted more and we both knew,

but we couldn't say it,

could feel the love in her voice,

n so could she, the end came,

we had to hang up.

24/10/10

A lot Like Love - Mad about You

Feel the vibe, feel the terror, feel the pain.
Its driving me insane
I cant fake
For god sakes why am I
Driving in the wrong lane
Trouble is my middle name
But in the end I am not too bad
Can someone tell me if its wrong to be so mad about
You
Mad about you.

Euthanise me

The wait is becoming unbearable,

the desperation has no limits now,

it has become a daily thing,

for it has made my life hell somehow.

Just come out of this,

say it and get it off me,

once n for all,

save me from this dark unfathomable pitfall.

I am ready to be tamed,

but if and only if its your name,

Nothing else gives me a damn,

all i care is about me and you,

as I am burning in this never ending flame.

Dont leave me alone,

i am getting used to this aphasia, 

it has become a lame distress,

if u cant help me,

at least give me euthanasia.

S[he] Be[lie]ve[d]

He always lies and the innocent She always believes.

Wordless it is..

Resurrection

He got what he needed the most,

she wouldn't have any idea what it was for him,

he felt blessed to have it,

as it was the only thing needed to keep him alive.

Few more days,

it could lead to prolonged dejection,

but it was like a dose to revive, 

like oxygen to breathe and survive.

It was all with her,

just with her, into her,

there is no idea of any surroundings,

just the mind at peace 

and heart content with bliss.

No remembrance,

of anything else,

except her, just her,

n nothing less.

Wish that night never ended,

the talks, exchanged glances,

the love in the air,

all gave it a magical flair.

Can not be explained,

for its always a experience,

tears of ecstasy,

with world in absence.

Those few hours,

can not be erased,

for those were the moments,

that brought an end to the yearning,

which was all going to waste.

There will a day again,

when he would need a dose,

but as there are few more breaths,

he doesn't care any more.

Although its a new life,

a resurrection,

it seems,

this is all about wait and just anticipation.

Smitten

How much u pretend,

try hard to face those waves of emotions,

u fail at times,

those will just sweep u away along with them.

Theres a longing to talk,

n keep on doing that,

it is quite irresistible.

Need a simple answer,

how long its gonna last,

so my head gets clear,

my heart becomes my own.

It is just so hard,

to let go off me,

its a torture now,

to not think about it all the while.                          

14/10

Wait/Forget

This feeling,

looks weird at times,

sometimes nonsense,

for there is no logic at all,

yet to the heart, it makes sense.

Uncanny is all this,

tempting it is to the core,

can not be described,

what happens inside.

What you feel,

you cant tell,

but surely it is nothing less than hell.

Encircled by this dilemma,

should spill the beans or not,

but its just hard to decide,

to do or not.

Should wait or just forget,

for both are inducing pain,

in my every vein.

This mad writing,

keeps me occupied,

would you ever get it,

or its all in vain.

Have started envying you,

it looks the table has turned,

i dread if this paves way to hatred,

but would you mind,

because my hate is too much love.

All over me

The desperation bore no fruit,

apart from pricking disappointment,

she proved me wrong once more,

turning me into a heart sore.

Was this an allusion,

tied with crushing of expectations,

dont give shelter to these feelings,

for me, it wouldn't have any meaning.

14-10

Its not me

Gloom is in full bloom,

have been devoid of,

what they always lived for.

Smile is what they badly need,

its a thing of past now,

since for them,

its an unachievable feat.

Would need that sum one,

who would make them smile,

make their wishes come true,

n to get rid of everyday blues.

The air here acts as a repellent,

choking it to hell,

please would someone help them,

to bring an end to this biting ailment.

Fear

Its the silent admiration,

which keeps it calm.

am afraid, when u look me that way,

because its really hard to absorb it all,

it makes me feel as if i cant even crawl.

I know may be u will prove me wrong,

but somewhere deep inside us,

we both know, we could get along.

We are aware of this inclination,

but its just the conscious,

which is keeping away from it.

U know fear is only that,

if the words would remain unsaid,

no reciprocation of emotions,

no acceptance, 

what is left is just misunderstood notions.

There would be silence all along,

which is going to haunt to the core,

just two souls burning in mutual agony,

felt this way never before.

Daily pangs n regret in the heart,

the pain seems excruciating,

as these memories will never depart.

I can feel it, 

but would u feel the same.

Time is a great healer,

but it would never be again.

It seems its still now,

these moments will never pass somehow.

The air is redolent with fear,

its the fear of nothingness,

making it all absolutely unclear.

Beyond my realm

Tumultuous getting it is,

its going alternate,

you feel like a dog,

one day its all hunky dory,

the other days are hell,

but to the heart, it seems real gory.

How long it will last,

this madness, this craziness,

getting difficult to bear,

finding it hollow even in nothingness.

Expectations trampled upon harshly,

giving way to intense insanity,

emotions get a volcanic jolt,

life is just over,

with things untold.

It is all just uncontrollable,

mind, not heart, seeks sulking revenge,

would it be undue,

but the question is, 

with or without you..?

Ached

Have started questioning now,
whether u used to feel the same sometime,
the way i am feeling it now.

If it yes,
I do know now,
how painful it is to survive,
in-spite of how hard u strive.

Am culling each memory from the past,
just to find out if someday u tried hard.
I do have some bleak moments,
pity, couldn't figure it then.

Am drowning now,
hardly able to breathe.
Just waiting for ur hand,
to make it at ease.

Know have been a moron,
but please save me,
unless u dont want me to see the dawn.

Mercy

The heart starts pounding,

at the anticipation of just the mention.

Dont know what happened,

the absurdity of this still cant be gaged. 

Heart keeps on reminding,

that people call it love,

which seems very scary to accept.

Thoughts are about u most of time,

it seems still u have not realized.

The acceptance is there, 

that it was my fault,

u kept on screaming, 

n I didn't halt.

Its almost the same now,

just wish u dont repeat the mistake,

which I did somehow.

Seems cant live like this,

for it never affected this way before,

I just beg,

please rescue me till shore.

Admittance that I was busy,

n u r in the same boat,

but it isn't necessary to follow protocol.

I know u r unaware of these thoughts,

as these are still untied,

but I am writing this to let u know,

that I am dying inside.

Salvaged

Seems true indeed,

when you really need sumone desperately,

it would seem no one would have a minute to spend,

but when you want it all alone,

it would seem like whole world is conspiring in thronging you.

What you need badly would not come to you,

but when you are away from it,

it will just pop up in front,

even in your thoughts.

Totally unexpected, 

it popped up like a Saviour for me.

Of all the things happening since last few days,

that was one thing very much needed in time.

It took me by surprise, 

leasing me few more breaths to survive.

Emotions needed a vent, 

to let go of their suppression.  

Was it elation or was it relief, 

which made its way through the organ of sight.

Petrified I was, 

for I had no control over my own heart.  

The moment was frozen in time, 

the eyes melted only to make me realize, 

for it wasn't a dream.

Nothing was obviously there, 

so it made me ponder,  

how long it’s going to last, so that I know,

when I am going to need another set of ventilators. 

P-let-V-go-D

I cant get it out of me, 

It's breathing Inside of me

It's reaching inside of you

You're feeling affected

You're being infected

It's just like a cold

A kiss on your lips

Now you're taking control

I feel like a criminal

I'm falling apart

We're leaving for Venus

In a getaway car

there's no one can save us

There's no need to try

I'm looking for saviors before they all die

If you wanna try and save me

Then take my heart don't hate me

If you feel you can let go, let go

Vibrations in cells

Persistent loss of interest in any thing,

Just dying inside to see that name,

the desperation is getting high,

I know will break down if tested more,

but that wouldn't be good at all for sure.

No idea if this is being done deliberately,

but surely its affecting me softly.

The heat beats at a faster pace,

presuming the mention at every tick.

I always repelled it, but somehow,

I fell for it.

Even it would be a no now,

but would love to surrender somehow,

this is just the ego, the selfishness,

for have not given a damn to her madness.

It should be penalized,

for I should deserve this sacrifice,

rightly going it is then,

parting both of us,

at fate's behest.

m.O.is.B.ta.Y.ke

Dont speak to me this way,

dont ever let me say,

dont leave me again,

dont leave me again,

Oh, you never felt this lost before,

and the world is closing doors,

I never wanted anything more,

Dont hurt me this way,

Dont touch me this way,

Dont hurt me again,

Dont hurt me again,

Oh, you never felt this lost before and the world is closing doors,

I never wanted anything more....

Dont let me make the same mistake again,

please dont let me make the same mistake again..

Pricking

Life has turned full circle, the air now is redolent with the sweet smelling solitary memories of the once cursed past. Inside out....
Everything in retrospect seems to be fine, as it looks now, but the present is still being spoiled. Dark moods often overtaking the mind throwing into the fathomless depth of desolation.
Just one reason, nothing else, could be so devastating. Its just that the essence of unspoken words has not been comprehended mutually. Painful it is, but the charm and sadistic pleasure experienced by self due to the unfulfilled love is unavoidable. It longs for more love, hence accompanied by pain which always comes in handy.
Surely, its making the wants more dearer than the needs. Nothing can be done to console yourself, or at least heart. Very rightly said, nothing is stable in human affairs, so never be so elated in happiness nor grieve much during bad times.

M..R..M

Mystic rose meditation, a therapy by Osho, which asks you to laugh, cry and be silent, each for some duration seems to be soul cleansing activity. Though the first part has been overly abundant with me, I had not the second and third one in proportions. But, after today, they all can be certainly balanced. It was like hell, but it actually cleanses you, not your eyes only, but it purifies the whole you.

It just happened with all those small insignificant things of life which were not going the way I wanted them to be, plus the past accumulated stuff (which was already effervescing), just made its way, bursting itself out. Had the potential to drench me, like I had been in the rain. I could have my lungs out. It was all hazy, the present was just melting in front of myself, had that bump not obstructed my way. 

How does it feel, when after exploring a hell lot of options, you come up with the conclusion that life is not treating you fairly, am sure its disheartening?

Aimless

It really hurts to hurt ...knowingly you have to do it, although it is damn hard to do so, but with great pain you step ahead to trample on your rosy dreams which keeps you alive.

It is really confusing, the consciousness speaks that it aint gonna happen, the mind is opposing the very thought of togetherness, but your subconscious always tries to make it beautiful, showing you the ray of optimism and a blurring belief that yes, you are gonna fall for it.

It tough, very tough...to just tread on it.

Life is full of surprises, it has made me believe that obviously i have been wrong many a times, but anything is possible in spite of your accepting the reality or not.

Had not expected this, i am almost acting as if i am actually encircled into this.

My conscious which was built as per prior experiences, happenings around me really dont want this, although deep down inside there is a longing for this, how do i deny that truly i dont want to deny.

Maybe people are right, one should go through this, this experience in itself is worth it, you would not know when it all happened, and how much you would want it your way, it wont.

Being a self proclaimed stoic would not help, this whole shebang would make you go weak in knees.

How much you try not to make her feel the way she should not about you, there is more love, unbounded by anything, flowing freely in every vein of the body.

Like other’s its going to meet the same fate, just any of the extremes.

reality Unfolds

No one can change,
whats bound to happen.
How much I deny and
keep myself in oblivion,
i wont escape unhurt.

Just looking for solace,
if i could be let out of all this.
It has been the source of envy,
or jealousy, for i cant lie.

Has been bothering all along,
just cropped up like anything today,
when it was all smoothly sailing on.

Why the affect is so intense,

just when those two are going ahead.

Feels disheartening,

as i have been forsaken,

like precious moments from me taken.

Thought i was just dreaming,

but alas, it dawned upon me,

hardening the stand on my ideology.

It is utterly disgusting,

as cant stand the sight,

now the mind seeks revenge,

only to find out, there's no vent.

Absurd it may get with time,

will be just left by myself,

alone, deserted and wandering in my mind. 

JLT

For what I had thought,

would last so long,

just turned out to be a week.

The thoughts before this,

were always filled with,

pain, dejection and some tears.

Indescribable it is,

for it would be accepted by all.

It all came to an end, 

just with a single call.

No emotion, no reaction,

nothing was there, when it was here.

For the time being, 

things have been made easy.

The path could also be the same,

on the other side,

just designed in her own bizarre ways.

It is normal for us to do this,

as there is no scope to evade a miss.

Finally, the unspoken silence was broken,

and it was all magical, once just done.

Surroundings never made sense to me thereafter,

as I was completely lost or mesmerized.

This could be just a dose,

very much needed in time,

who knows, may be there's more in line.

Never felt this way before,

with pain and dejection no more.

But i fear the invincibility of this,

as I am the one who would be at defeat.

Fine spun web

There so much to hide,

how come you can do that,

when you are dying inside.

You want a glimpse,

or may be just a word,

but you show as if you dont care.

Ego is setting you up,

but it seems its good at times.

Dont want to pamper yourself,

since you know it wont last long.

It may be contemporary,

but there is a feel deep down inside,

an optimism, that it will be mine.

Very few shades of that,

keep you alive.

You want it deeply,

but would not want it, when its there.

Its the selfishness,

the inability of not getting hurt,

which scares you.

Had seen, had heard,

people do things, when in love.

The experience is enlightening,

for I thought I could evade it.

Life has taken a new direction,

with one way, but no u turn.

Now its only the wait,

otherwise life is still the same.

Feelers

Give me one name to whom you could speak to right now without any hitch and also with excessive comfort, so that you would not even think twice before speaking up, and about any god damn thing in this world. Couldn’t think of anyone, well, sure it feels hollow inside after this if you couldn’t get any. You wish you had one. Time to introspect...

JLT

I can see it, its there far off from me,
want it real bad, but deep down know,
its not possible...
the stronger I try to chase it,
it scurries off from me...
am living in past filled with haunting (once cherish-able) memories,
spending my present with pain and pleasure,
thinking of future having worries in abundance.
.................................................

Feelers

And you feel like no one before, 

you steal right under my door,

I kneel coz I want you some more,

I want the lot of what you got,

And I want nothing that you have got....

--Contemporary Catharsis

Acceptance

The noose seems to be tightening now and it really seems painful to escape it. Paradoxical it is, because its such a thing you would not have control over, thats the power of love.
2 days and it feels like hell. For what I had thought to be the most easy thing which I could bypass has just took me by surprise. Can't just move on with it. To keep it as simple as it could be, her indispensability is hitting really bad and giving the pangs of disgruntled emotions filled with the anticipation of regret and repentance, all through out the day (as if you dont have anything else).
Its sure real hard to take the right path, at least as of now. If its gone, simple there is a blank, nothing else, the question then is What Next? and that looks like the end.
Don't want to surrender to acceptance, but then it looks like a fair possibility and the next right thing in row.

Time...

Listen to Time (the one from inception). What do you feel? Its a bit hard to describe, but the music leaves you spellbound (at least me) and will take you into an all together different world.

If you were to look for words to pen down your feelings while listening to this or in a way catharsis, these could be : Tears, Empathy or may be sympathy, pain, disheartening, desperation and  bla bla bla.

Somehow this actually arouses pity in you and if translated into visuals, you could find that whatever has been happening or you are viewing is not gonna happen (which ideally should) and its all a failed attempt, although deep down you want it through, thus relieving yourself or the other one concerned of the agony. 

There is a feel that may be you could help it out, but you cant, you have to just let it go, however bad its gonna be. You feel you could impersonate it all. 

Well, there is so much that could be deciphered, but you know there is a need of that knack which Nolan showed already and it lacks here.

Its just mind boggling. It leaves you in a world full of mystery, perplexity, things considered strange and mostly out of realm of normal human mind.

Time, is titled aptly.

TiMe

I heard that people do change with time. I used to deny or even neglect this fact every time someone used to din it in my ears, since those were my graduation days and I never did give a damn to any of the things in life. Everything was rosy for me back then. No care at all for anything in life, but gradually I have started to realise what it actually feels like. It may be partly true that people change with time, but I guess it’s more of the circumstances, different facets of life which one goes through, and that actually compels a person to behave differently unlike his/her past. And now what about the present life, deeply engrossed into their life with a bulk of responsibilities, everyone has forgotten everyone. It’s just about them, actually not their fault, just the normal human behaviour. You start avoiding people, don’t even take calls, even from close ones, but separated by a distance.  The ones who are physically around you in your everyday life would have expectations and your shoulders will just drop down carrying that burden of fulfilling it. And when you can’t take it anymore, you just give in, blowing up everything.

People who are physically around us are bound to have expectations from us and we are supposed to reciprocate at least in some way they would like us to.  And the ones who are oceans apart, just connected through technology (although at once they were really close) are no longer that important part of our lives and it does hurt, it surely does.  It is really hard to digest the fact that things have really changed and the best or worst part is that you didn’t do that. Its not like that its all over, you still feel the same about them you used to do, but theres something which has changed and can’t be explained. The reason behind that could be that you are no longer with them and no longer are those moments when you could just laugh, cry, play at any/with god damn thing.

Nostalgia overtakes. I quit.